Something about me that you may or may not know is that I am a performer by instinct. With the perspective that I have now I think that was born out of some amount of social anxiety of knowing I was different in high school but not having an answer for it. Still, I have always loved acting and truly getting under the skin of different characters to understand who they are. I would have been in theater or improv in high school if I didn't hate the cultures surrounding them. I also had a shit memory for scripts... but I digress. This is kind of where I found an avenue to express myself with D&D. Then I was around people that would give me some time on stage to tell a story with them. Often I was telling a story I didn't even know but boy could I tell it. Either way, as I grew up I learnt that the spotlight brings attention and you don't get to choose what sort it is. Attention and judgement go hand in hand.
If you have been reading this blog from the start I have kind of been on a slow and steady pace to try and find myself. One of the first things I dealt with were people who had crafted an image of me that they interacted with other than who I am. All of those people made assumptions that were more comfortable for them than the reality of who I am. I know that I used to bend to those because it was easier for the conversation and I thought it didn't have an affect. Down the line I realize that my self-identity became a shuddering mass of all of these perspectives. Like a fun house mirror, I became a warped entity trying to bend and twist to all of the perceptions of me. I am no longer in that space but I feel like the echoes of that are still playing themselves out but now online.
Having come into the role of social media manager of the Succubus Cop twitter has had me become aware of how to cater and create an identity that fits the media we are creating. Now, this does not mean that I am lying about who I am on the account. It is the same thing as cleaning just enough for guests to come over that it shows that you take care of the place but still live in the house. I am just aware that there are certain ways of interacting with people that works better than others. Smaller statements, emphasis on celebration, emotionally resonant phrases, and clear speech. We see it all the time with various brands and this drive for creating communities online. Even though you mean the words it is hard to not feel detached from jumping through the hoops of an impassive site and the specter of purely text based communication.
All of these thoughts have kinda come about because of two separate things I have interacted with. I recently watched a video breaking down the Jerma Dollhouse and Inside as depicting the strange parasocial world we live in now (here is the link to the vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGHoRsDZN7M). What truly resonated with me was the idea that if online identities have become performances and the performance is meant to be genuine is it ever possible for the performer to be honest to their audience? I mean, I think we have all seen youtubers or other such people put out a video or some such that is meant to be an apology or clarification where they pull back the curtain. Still, this media is interacted with by the audience in the same way as all the rest of their content. I understand that this is due to a parasocial relationship that the audience has created where they feel like they already know the person thus a "more real version" doesn't really change their perceived closeness to them. So the creator ends up in an infinite loop of honesty become performance, the more honest you try and be the more of a performance it ends up as.
This sort of problem of expectation of performance from people played out over the weekend regarding a kickstarter over on twitter. So, this kickstarter is being run by some ambitious individuals that are looking to make an entry into video games and anime. I have seen their work and their plans, as well as the way they interact with people. These are people I trust and want to help so I have been trying to get eyes on this thing and fulfilling my Metis instinct to make connections. The trouble comes in when the kickstarter they put out got called out as a scam by someone. Now, there is some context to this. Recently in the indie animation community there has been a collection of scams recently that has people on edge and the community is very avid about self-policing to make sure that this sort of stuff doesn't happen. This is where the cycle kicks off though because the kickstarter was very transparent with what they wanted to do as well as the creators. They then went through a process to make it more transparent and also converse with the person that posed the accusation. While this was happening, and I was trying to help where I could, I couldn't help thinking "how do you make someone trust what you are doing?". At that time it was more of a question of making people feel comfortable rather than providing them all of the information. Now, I am looking at it and it starts to feel like people would prefer, and expect, a performance over honesty.
This honesty rabbit hole of a creator is what has been on my mind for a little bit. How many times do you need to be honest with people before the words you speak are yours? How does the person decouple themselves from the self that they create for others? The strangest answer is it seems that the best way to communicate online is to create an identity that you are comfortable with rather than be who you are. The expectation is that if you can be anyone that you will, that everyone is crafting some type of lie. This doesn't mean that the lie purposed by people is inherently malicious. I am more thinking that it is a subconscious action that happens. We like to think that we know things, we are funny, or we are involved in things. We want to be interesting and social media provides us the challenge of doing that with a character limit.
This becomes even more of a problem when what is being presented is not a person but a product. That is the strange situation that creators are being put in that means everything that they are doing is put through the lens of their crafted identity. I am not just talking about youtube and twitch. I am seeing this happening with voice actors, writers, animators all the time. These people essentially are required to function at all times as both relatable and professional online. What ends up happening is a culture that turns people into products. If you are not selling yourself or your talents as a commodity then you will be behind others that do. Once you interact with this mindset it becomes hard not to see every choice as trying to further the aim of increasing someone's stock. This is kind of what a lot of twitter has become in some fashion.
I can't blame people for not having a lot of trust on social media given the amount of crooked bullshit is going on. The amount of times that large companies try to hide their own actions behind a smoke screen of social media activity. Even on the smaller end there are more than enough stories of creators running away with large amounts of money, not even wanting to get into the high end scam that is NFTs. There are numerous other stories of crowdfunding allowing amazing things to succeed but that is sort of what they are meant to do. Something working right doesn't really garner the same attention as something going wrong. These stories have lessons attached but they also build up distrust for the smaller creators that rely on crowdfunding to get things done. The situation then becomes a creator with a new idea that wants to have something done with nothing on hand to convince someone that they aren't a scammer. People will doubt anything that is not a sure thing, it is a rough go of things.
What I have learnt while navigating this sort of culture of doubt is how to break through in some fashion. I am not a professional and I am not going to try and give you professional insight, what that is meant to sound or look like. All I know is acting as honestly as possible is still appreciated, especially with honest support. Support is the key thing because putting your time and effort towards something is the best way to show who you are. It is the same idea when you are placed in that strange position of having to be honest past the performance. It takes time but people will notice. You need to put forward your trust before people will trust you. While you are doing that you will see others that will be doing the same.
There are great people out there that are forced to play this game. The thing is that if you act forthcoming and prove yourself with support then they will find you. This is what true community build and networking is about. It isn't about a brand it is about people. If people want to see you for what you can do rather than who you are then you will know how much effort they are worth putting into. That is exactly the thing to remember about social media that people forget. You are still having a relationship with people and as with relationships in real life they take time. There is no fast pass to trust in life.
So, honesty doesn't come through statements. Honesty comes through actions.
Stay good out there folks and do your best ~