I stepped out onto the porch after accidentally nudging one of my black cats a little harder than I wanted to with my leg. I couldn't see them on the black door mat and they have figured out when I go out so they hang out there. Don't worry, I followed them for a bit and then I pet them and they rubbed on my hand so we still good. Either way, I step out on the cement porch with a lamp that has all kinds of moths and mosquitos flying around it. The sun has just enough light in the air for you to know it is still there. I have gotten used to taking walks around this time since there aren't as many non-masked people walking around. If someone is walking around they usually keep a wide berth from anyone else just to make sure they aren't some weirdo or something. I'll take it, everyone thinks I am pissed off when I am on a walk anyways so it works out for everyone.
It is raining and the air is dead. This is a double serving of humidity, hold the breeze. I regret the baggy jeans that have only gotten baggier as I have lost weight and the heavy cotton wrestling graphic tee of a wrestler that died last year... or was it this year. Doesn't matter. Shirt, heavy. Jeans, heavy. I did opt to not wear my hoodie, it wasn't raining that heavy.
I pop on a song and start walking but I don't get to the end of the driveway before I switch it. Good song, just not the vibe I am feeling. Just walking by the garden something gets caught in my peripherals. Just a dark shape, it wobbles and morphs into some large cat stalking me from the underbrush. I give it a closer glance and it is just a slightly over grown garden around the stump I have walked by thousands of times. I do get to notice some fireflies floating about past it. I haven't seen those for the whole season so I look at them for a second before nodding and then setting off.
I get into the rhythm of the song, forget that I am walking down a street with windows that anyone could be looking through. Some head bopping, some rhythmic walking, some hand motions to show all the people that aren't there that I know everything about the song that they couldn't even hear that I was listening to. Rounding around the bend there are a bunch of fireflies under two tall pines. My eyes linger on them for a bit and I consider the faerie. Been watching the Unsleeping City D&D game through the week so I have been having a bunch of that sort of stuff on my mind. Think about if there is magic on the air, if there is I'll let it come. Right now all I can really feel is the humidity and the occasional rain drop. Still, just the right amount of light as I leave my street that I can see everything clearly but it still feels like night.
Cross the road. See a guy jogging a good ways off. Makes me think about doing a bit of jogging too but think better of it with the clothes I am wearing and this dude probably getting sketched out if I just started jogging for no reason. Makes me consider what would be better clothes to jog in and how I don't like shorts. Don't get caught up in the thought knot. Instead I check what is the next song on the list. Corner of my eye catches a shape in the grass. I take a second and the shape ends up being a rabbit. We both look at each other for a moment. I think about how I feel like I got more in common with this rabbit than the dude jogging. I don't break my stride though. A small wave to the bunny, hope he has a good night, and I am on my way.
Less fire flies, mainly just keeping track of where I am by the roads I walk past. The guy that is jogging moves past me. Not 100% if he gave me a sidelong glance or not but I just keep moving. Pretty sure some electro stuff comes on, I try to let it play for a bit before having to stop to take my phone out and sifting through a few different playlists. Pretty sure my finger taps the "new tab" button. Kind of annoying but easy enough fix. Looking for rap, and when I mean rap I mean Aesop Rock. I want some wonky bass lines and words spill over the side of the page.
Get to walking again. Was around this time that I start to have a hard time telling rain from sweat on my skin. Never been good with humidity, doesn't help that I live in a valley that just pools all of the shit right on top of this city. There has been brown outs and power flickering all day. It is kinda weird because it isn't that hot but I guess there are enough people like me that don't want to deal with the humidity. Either way, I'm walking and there is someone coming the other way with an umbrella. At first I thought it was the jogger that turned around to re-do his path. We were chill and he gave me space so I wasn't phased. Once I realized that it was someone different I instantly get a little more annoyed. There is enough room on the sidewalk if we both just move to the edges and they angle their umbrella. For me to stay there though I need to rub up against some bushes and low hanging trees. There wasn't that much water on them but I do feel my shoulder get damp and a small trickle of water run down my arm. They decide that they don't want to share so they step on the grass beside the sidewalk. They have a bit of an attitude about it like I was being unreasonable but I am unphased. I held to my side. I gave them space. Eh, I do get it that you want to give the big guy walking at night some space. I don't blame em.
I take a turn down a street. I get deeply into the vibe and pick up the pace a bit, feet stepping in beat with the music. Generally I just kinda let my feet carry me along the usual path. There is this obnoxious house that has this sign with dumb little lines on it made of bristol board or some shit, actually didn't see it today. Either way, getting close to the park I cut through feels like a nice change of scenery. The open space lets me really gauge the amount of humidity in the air. Just seeing the light travel through the hazy air is enough of a gauge for me. I just trek through the near dark park with the three trees in the center. Again, my eye catches a shadow in the peripheral but I don't pay it much mind. It doesn't seem to be moving towards me and my ears are good enough to hear footfalls on the grass, maybe a bit more trust than I should have given the headphones I have on but we move.
I get back on a road between three tree park and this other one. This little stretch of road always gets me a little tense. I think it has to do with this big tree and where the streetlight is creates this large shadow. It just makes a bunch of of the lawns and grass hard to make out the space. It is also just long enough to make it feel like something could come around the corner like it was a horror movie. I don't know, just a lot of corners and shadows. It also doesn't help that the park I'm heading towards is usually unreasonably dark and has this really shitty blind entrance.
So, I walk through the shitty hedge hallway into the unreasonably dark park. I've been through this park enough times though that it isn't that bad. Some nights it feels worse but this time it doesn't. Might be that there is still enough light or just that I got enough thoughts on my mind that I am distracted. Still, so many shapes in here because of the playground structure and there is a family that just sort of leaves stuff on the ground. I end up stepping on something I didn't notice on the path, I think it was just a big crack in the pavement. Either way, I just walk on through the park.
This last street is one I have stepped on enough times. It feels very much like my feet are just carrying me at this point and allowing my head to sort of go where it pleases. Walking past the large pines I used to climb and bike around as a kid, just a very comforting thing to see. I can see in the puddles that it is raining harder but between the humidity and the sweat because of the humidity I legit can't feel it. I'm just moving. I walk past the house that has the home made people sitting out on their lawn. The guy usually does some really impressive snow sculptures and decided to still put something out during the warmer parts of the season. I have walked past this guys house when he is out now and then and he has given me a quick nod or a wave, nice people.
By the end of the walk I am kinda in my own mind about me being a part of the city and the city being a part of me. Just felt very keyed in, seeing what I should and being where I am supposed to. When I am in that space I could probably just keep walking. Something I have considered a few times. The only problem is by the time I am tired then I need to walk back. Ya know... problems. Either way, I know these streets and parks. It has been a rough week and that sort of comfort is really nice. It isn't just the comfort of being in a place that you know though, it is the comfort of keeping an eye on that place. It's hard to explain but it was nice to feel.
It was a good walk.